Day 1: There’s a thing growing on my face. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s there, and I know it itches. I’ve been trying to hide it from the Big People. I know that if they see it, they’re going to take me back to that horrible vet. This is the guy that gets his jollies out of sticking thermometers in places that they don’t belong. I think I’ll just live with whatever this is on my face.
Day 2: The thing is getting bigger. It feels a little like a but crawled onto my face and decided to nest there. It still itches. I learned to scratch with my front legs from my time in the Cone of Shame. It’s easy, I just carefully stand on three legs, lift a front paw and give it a good rub. Ahh.
Day 3: The Big People have discovered my new friend. They stared at it for a while, then looked at each other and shrugged their absurd shoulders. How those things walk on only two legs is beyond me. They spoke to each other in their weird Big People speak and then went to bed. I guess I shouldn’t worry.
Day 4: Ack! The BP’s held me down and smeared some greasy slime on my face-thing! It was disgusting, so I licked it all off.
Day 5: I heard the word “vet.” It looks like I’m in trouble. I should have scratched this stupid thing off and had done with it days ago.
To be continued…